Mirrors, Trash and RomComs
Some of you love romantic comedies, some of you don't. The good news is it doesn't matter either way.
I have a handful of favorites in my queue, ready for action on days I need some old fashioned giggles and a mental zone-out. The Wedding Date with Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney is in the starting line-up.
The Wedding Date Universal Pictures
Cliffs Notes plot summary: Dermot Mulroney plays a hot, smart, elite male escort (Nick) hired by Debra Messing's character (Kat) to pose as her boyfriend in an effort to make her ex-fiance jealous. Ex-fiance is the best man in her sister's wedding.
Kat is attractive, successful, sweet, funny....you know....all the things. She's holding on to what used to be in the hopes of getting it all back. Nick, on the other hand, is a self-aware action taker who tells it like it is. Kat asks Nick about a specific line in an article he wrote, beside herself that it could possibly be true.
"Every woman has the exact love life she wants."
Kat believes her sad, romance-less life is happening to her. The product of her ex-fiance breaking off their engagement and, therefore, ruining her life.
Nick calls out the victim mindset like a referee blowing a whistle and throwing a penalty flag. He holds up a mirror and shows Kat that her life is what it is because of the choices she's making. Not because of choices her ex-fiance made.
I'm not a heartless bitch. It is heartbreaking when things happen to shatter the life you thought you had, the life you wanted to have...expected to have. I'm divorced. I get it. The big BUT here is that there is ALWAYS a choice. In everything. All the time. Are they easy? Some yes, some abso-fucking-lutely not.
Mull these statements over and look into your own mirror.
"Every person has the exact work life they want."
"Every person has the exact friendships they want."
"Every person has the exact financial life they want."
"Every person has the exact ________________ life they want."
Are you complaining about the way things are? (Psst...victim)
What are you DOING to change your circumstances? (Ding ding! Choice!)
Victim or choice maker? You choose.
Shoulding is like victim-ing in that you give your power away. You give your choice away, believing you don't have one.
I invite you to take responsibility for yourself, your life, your choices. Start by consciously choosing the little things...the things we don't want to do, but because we're adults we get to. Choose to take out the trash, not complain and enjoy the mess-less space you created.
Pretty soon, you'll be taking the crap in your life out like the trash. And enjoying what you created.
